Thursday 28 February 2013

The only place to start - is from the beginning




In March 2011 I noticed that my hearing in my right ear was different. I couldn’t hear like I was used to, and I need my ears as my passion is working with audio. At my church I am one of the sound technicians and had been doing so since I was 14. I just dismissed it at first and thought it was my phone that was making me not hear correctly. 

My stomach also started to pose a problem. I would get sudden pains in my stomach and wouldn’t know what would bring them on. After about a week of having these pains, I started to throw up... non-stop. By the third night I asked my parents to take me to the hospital. I have never said this before and was a little afraid. My older sister had to help me walk to the car and get around in the hospital and it was a long wait before I was seen. Once a doctor came they took blood but found nothing unusual and just gave me something to drink to get my strength back.

After a few days I was able to get strength back and everything seemed normal for about two weeks. Then it started all over again and this time it was every morning when I woke up. I did not like this one bit and neither did my family. We prayed and we stood against whatever it was. It became an unfortunate start to everyday. It was tough and I had to re-direct my mind each time. There were days when I wouldn’t want to get out of bed, but my family and friends were a great support in shaking me out of it! 

Plain and simple, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired! My mum and brother and sister came and had to physically get me out of bed as I was weak. They encouraged my to praise the Lord. So my brother got his Guitar, my sister sang, and my mum helped prop me up. But I didn’t want to. My reasoning going on in my head was, I’m not going to do it just because they want me to do it. Then he spoke. God whispered to me and said ‘Wouldn’t I be there playing the guitar, wouldn’t I be there singing with you and holding you up? Wouldn’t I do the same for you to help you?’ I broke down as I usually do when He talks to me because it’s always perfect. I was being plain right stubborn! But God being rich in mercy had people around me to help me get out of the state I was in. I submitted to God and repented and I worshipped Him and it helped me get back on my feet and do what I had to do! 

Worship is key! One day I was struggling to get out of bed (again). I knew that I was going to throw up and I didn’t want to; I was afraid. I cried out to God for help and He said “strengthen yourself with Psalm 100”. So I read it. He said “read it again and again and again” so I read it again and again and again until I was believing it. Then He said “get out of bed reading it” and I did! I didn’t get up and have to run to the bathroom; I walked! I was so happy that I didn’t throw up I just sang praises to God for what he did for me! Then it hit me. Before, I was worshipping God out of my desperation or to distract myself when I really should be praising Him for who He is and what He has done. It was simple.

It is important what comes out of your mouth and every time I threw-up I made sure that ‘I will bless the Lord at ALL times...’ I distracted myself from me and concentrated on God and what He had for me and enabled me to do in that day. It become the norm that I would throw-up but continue with my day like nothing happened.